This was originally the blog of a first-time Mum to remember the ups and downs of my pregnancy - and chart the first year of my daughter's life. But I've kept it going, and am now a mother of two! More than anything, it helps me to get to sleep once I've emptied my brain of issues and concerns and emotions onto the laptop.
If you're reading this and also a mum- or dad-to-be, first time parent, or just someone who's thinking about it - I hope it gives a little insight into one person's experiences - good and bad....

Thursday, 17 March 2011


Straight after Christmas (at 16 weeks) we had something of a scare. Just got back from a few days at the in-laws, and my stomach - which had been starting to nicely firm up and get a bit rounder - just suddenly 'shrank'. It was looser, I was easily fitting into my regular clothes, and things just didn't feel right. Even though I had no pain or bleeding, I was concerned enough to call the midwife, who told me to go to A and E. That in itself worried me even more, as it sounded like there was something to be concerned about.
We went straight to A and E, and were referred to the EPU within an hour. After another hour, I was given a scan. The sonographer said everything was fine - happy with the heartbeat, measurements etc, and told us there was nothing to worry about and we could relax. Although he did say he'd never come across anyone with my 'shrinking tummy' complaint before.

So, relieved, we had a nice afternoon out and went out for dinner. I didn't have any mobile phone reception until after dinner, and when it came back I had an answerphone message from a consultant at EPU. He said he'd taken another look at my scan and was concerned about my levels of amniotic fluid... and could I go in for another scan. Our relaxed relief from the earlier scan was instantly replaced by worry and confusion. We immediately went home and researched what low amniotic fluid levels might mean, and were terrified and really anxious by what we found. If I'm honest, I think we'd both written off our little one's chances, and were most definitely struggling to keep positive.

I called work to take the day off, so I could go straight to EPU as early as possible the next day. We were seen pretty swiftly by the consultant and sonographer. They were both happy with what they saw, and said we actually had nothing to worry about.... fluid levels were fine. I think I was actually shocked into a kind of numbness as I had been so prepared to hear bad news. 

So this is what the rollercoaster of emotions is going to be like for the next.... well, forever?! This won't be the last of what I call my 'thin' days - more on that in month five.

I must mention that I've been very impressed with our EPU (I've been there often enough in the last year). Far more so than the main ante-natal clinic. There, they can keep us waiting for up to two hours after our appointment time. Not good with a waiting room full of very large, very hormonal and very tired women! Each time we've been so far, we've both said it feels like we're on a conveyor belt for pregnant women. I'm just hoping it all gets a bit better at the 'business end'.

I've also been battling to get the flu jab. Went to my GP surgery before Christmas, but as I have an egg allergy, they wouldn't give it to me. Was pushed from pillar to post trying to find an alternative, or get it administered at the hospital where they could keep an eye on me. But by the time I got as far as just an appointment with my consulatant it just didn't seem worth it - even my GP said it hardly seemed worth it. So I've given up. I can't be the only person in the area to have an egg allergy that needs the jab. So I'm just going to have to avoid sick people - and take it very easy at the first sign of anything flu-like....

On a happier note, it turns out my closest friend at work is also pg! Except she's expecting TWINS! She's the only one who knows what I went through last year, so she was really nervous about telling me about her good news. But I'm totally thrilled for her, and don't envy her twins one bit. It's really nice to have someone so close to go through pregnancy with - we're even due in the same week, although hers are very likely to come earlier as there's two of them. We've had very uncannily similar symptoms, fears, experiences so far - it's really quite odd.

So everyone at work also knows my news. While they all seem happy for me - there's definitely more interest in my colleague's twins... unsurprisingly. But I'm actually quite pleased to go to work for a bit of a baby-free zone. At home, it's all DP and me talk about - not in a bad way... it's usually excited plans, talking over concerns and worries - but every conversation does end up back at the Little Monkey.

The other good thing is starting to feel him/her a little bit. Around week 17 I wasn't sure if that's what I was feeling or not - but by weeks 18/19 there were definite what I would describe as 'pulses' happening inside me. Not quite the flutters I had read about and been told about - more like tiny, tiny little kicks - and not every day. But enough to know there's something going in there....

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