NICE WEEKEND

At a time when we're still surviving each day and ticking off each week with a newborn, we had a really good day on Saturday: Charlotte had a nap, James had a poo, I had a bath and we made it out of the house!

In my book, that's quite a successful day in between feeding, expressing, and trying to get both kids to sleep. I think I even managed to put the hoover round. It helped that I wasn't worrying that my OH wasn't getting any work done. He is such a massive help during the week, but it's an added stress when I think he's not getting his work done.

And we're even convinced we might have seen a glimpse of a few very early smiles :)

Nearly four weeks in and we're starting to think about getting James on a bit of a routine. Nothing rigid - we'll give the EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You Time) routine a go as we did with Charlotte. It really helps to give us a clue as to whether he's hungry or tired. Plus, the biggest thing we ever learnt from the early months with Charlotte was to watch for the tired signs as early as possible, because she was so difficult to calm and get to sleep once she got to overtired/over-stimulated.

The only down side of the past few days has been Charlotte's waking in the night. She just cries and cries for cuddles - often woken by James crying when he's up for a night feed. It means while I'm feeding, my OH has to deal with her, so neither of us are getting any sleep to relieve the other the following day.

On Sunday night my OH ended up sleeping on the floor in her room because she just would not settle without one of us in there. I know it must be a reaction to the big change in her life, so we're trying not to get angry about it. But we did jump at the offer from her Grandma to have her stay there for two nights this week - mostly so I can get James' feeding back on track and catch up on some rest.

SLEEP REGRESSION

We're having a total nightmare with Charlotte's sleeping at the moment. (note the time of this post: - 0218).

After the best part of a year of a really good bedtime routine, and C mostly going down straight away without a fight - she's suddenly refusing to sleep. And waking A LOT in the night, taking up to 2 hours to get her to go back down sometimes.

I have read that this is a common problem as her development gathers pace and she wants to be up trying all her new skills, but frankly that doesn't help. We've resorted to sitting in her room with her until she's down, like we did back in the early months. But even then she's up a couple of hours later - and then often every hour after that.

We've tried leaving her to cry, but she gets so wound up she makes herself sick - and that's after only abut 5 minutes. If we give her her dummy, she decides it's a fun game to throw it out of the cot minutes later. It's really not good at the moment.

Recently it's been nighttime coughing that had been waking her up. She's fine in the day, but almost bang on 10.30pm she'll wake up with a massive coughing fit. We've tried so many things to alleviate this - window open, humidifier, honey before bed, hoovered and cleaned bedding, different room, raised cot etc etc. And while she is still coughing quite a bit at night, it's not that that's waking her at the moment.

I don't know whether she's just started hating her cot or room, is scared, or just being a terror. But sleepless  nights are really not helpful when you're 4-months pregnant with number two. That said, I must saying my OH has been amazing in doing most of the really tough nighttime stuff, and I usually get a few hours sleep before I take over in the early hours.

Talking of number two, I had started feeling the little Twiglet (our chosen pet name for him/her) with the little pulses. And I heard his/her heartbeat at my latest ante-natal appointment, which was great. But now I've barely felt anything for a few days (probably not helped by the stress brought on by Charlotte), and so the anxiety begins... I know it's still early days to be feeling much, so trying not to get too worried. But I do love those reassuring little flutters.

CAT-NAPPING

Sorry to be all repetitive, but it's that age-old issue of daytime sleeping again.

After a good day yesterday, we've had a really bad day today. I don't think she got much over an hour's sleep all day, which I know can't be good for her - and that's likely to have a knock-on effect on tonight's sleep.

At her weigh-in this week, Charlotte had put on a little more weight, staying on the same 9th percentile, so the health visitor wasn't concerned. When we asked her about her sleeping, she said cat naps weren't a problem (Charlotte's only been doing the odd half an hour here and there just lately) - so long as all her sleep is adding up to around 12-14 hours in a 24 hour period. I think most days/nights we average around 10 hours.

The news that cat naps aren't a problem made me a bit more relaxed. But I'm still getting really wound up and frustrated when she won't even nod off when it's really obvious she's tired (all the usual signs - yawning, rubbing her eyes and ears, grizzly). And as I've mentioned several times before, that lack of sleep affects her feeding too. Twice today she nodded off on the breast, which meant she wasn't full. The second time, I just let her sleep on me for half an hour as I was so concerned by how little sleep she'd had.

My OH seems a little too relaxed about her daytime sleep, which winds me up a bit, as I feel like I'm the only one striving to get Charlotte exactly what she needs. He says we're giving her the opportunity to sleep (walking her in her pram etc), but there's nothing else we can do to actually make her fall asleep and stay asleep. But even some of those fail-safes are now failing. If she does manage to nod off in her pram it's now for little more than half an hour; even the car is a little hit and miss.

Yesterday, however, was a good example of what a good day's sleep can result in. I took Charlotte out for the day to a nearby town - partly to give my OH plenty of space and time to work without interruptions and for a change of scene for me. Charlotte and I had a little bit of play time on a picnic rug, and after her feed she promptly fell asleep in her car seat which was on her pram - and stayed asleep for more than two hours!

That evening, she got herself off to sleep beautifully. She woke briefly at 2315 which didn't seem to be for a feed, so we tucked her back in and gave her a dummy - and she promptly slept for a further five hours - nine in total. All very good for her, but I was constantly clock-watching - thinking she'll wake any time for a feed, why hasn't she woken for a feed... then, it's been 8, 9, 10 hours since her last feed.

So, as she slept like the proverbial baby I still didn't manage to catch up on any lost sleep. I think that tiredness exacerbates my frustrations over her daytime sleeping. And that frustration inevitably sees me end up in tears. I don't think I've gone more than a day without crying in recent weeks. It's only because I care so much for Charlotte, and want to do everything right by her - and I guess I feel I'm failing a bit at that if I can't get her the sleep she so obviously needs...

edit: so much for worrying what sort of sleep she was going to get. Went down pretty much by herself by 1930 until 0130 for a feed. Then back down until QUARTER PAST SEVEN (albeit the OH tucked her back in when she was squirming around a lot at 0430 and he was awake anyway). Despite my concerns over her daytime sleep, I really am aware at how lucky we are that she has her big chunks of sleep at night.

MOTHER KNOWS BEST

I'm starting to understand the truth behind that phrase - Mother knows best. I really am starting to know a little more about what our little girl wants. Most of the time it's the sleep she still continues to fight in the day.

The trouble comes when other people - mostly grandparents and other family members, on both sides - make me question it all. When I can see she's on the cusp of needing sleep, they want to carry on playing, when I know she's grizzling because she's not had enough sleep they tell me she's hungry or - both grandmas favourite - it's her tummy/wind. And because they've all been there before I do listen to them.

But then I'm proved right when we get into the overtired vicious circle. Yet I'm still made to feel like I'm obsessing over her getting enough sleep. But it is really important.

On a brighter note - and an example of the effect a good sleep can have - Charlotte was an unbelievable angel at her second Welcome to the World BBQ. This time it was for her Northern family and friends. We'd made sure she had a good hour and a half's sleep at lunchtime. And for the rest of the afternoon we had smiles, happy noises, another kip, good feeds and not a whimper.

with Great-Grandma

Even her bath and pre-bed massage were perfect. As I'm writing this I have just put her down to sleep. Unfortunately the party is still very noisily going on, and Charlotte's wide awake, so we'll see how long it takes her to nod off...

edit: Ok, so she settled herself to sleep beautifully within 20 minutes, despite the cocophony of noise... and then slept for a personal best SEVEN hours before waking for a feed. I was obviously awake several times before that worrying why she hadn't woken as usual. Let's hope this isn't a one off, and she continues to be an angel child.

edit2: but then it took more than an hour to get her back to sleep:(

SHE'S ARRIVED!

Charlotte Jane - born 0434 on 24th June, 2011; weighing 7lb.

With the little feeding monster likely to wake for her next feed at any moment, this will be very brief until I have time to write a couple of more detailed blogs about her birth and the first few days.

Hours after a sweep at the ante-natal clinic on Thursday my labour started - we were in hospital by 8pm that night, and she arrived 8 and half hours later.  TENS machine and gas and air only, two failed attempts at a ventouse delivery - and she came out with all my might.

Since then it's been three days of feeding, feeding, feeding - not helped by the ridiculously hot weather which means she's more de-hydrated than usual. But breastfeeding seems to be going really well so far. Had really positive and reassuring home visits from a midwife and breastfeeding woman.

Just need to get her to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time so I can get a tiny bit of sleep. A grand total of about 7 hours since Thursday is not good.

Will fill in the details at a later date - but until then, Welcome to the world, Charlotte... x

PREGNANCY - MONTH NINE (WEEK 40)

Well, it's my due date today - and I'm really trying not to set too much stall by it or get too fixated on it. I have a pregnancy massage booked and we're seeing friends for dinner, to keep me busy. But it's very hard not to feel impatient, anxious and apprehensive.

I don't think it's helped that I'd convinced myself our Little Monkey would come early.  Now I'm thinking it could still be another 2 weeks, which makes me feel pretty despondent. The hardest thing is just not knowing how it's all going to kick off - will my waters break, will I have a show, will the contractions just start? The not knowing and constantly being on alert to any sign is frustrating.

But I keep trying to remind myself our Little Monkey will come when and how he/she is ready. And that I should rest up and enjoy myself while I can. Easier said than done though.

I have been sleeping pretty well - but I do wonder if I'm setting myself up for a fall. Everyone keeps telling me to sleep as much as I can - but surely if your body gets used to loads of sleep it's only going to make it harder once the wee one comes along and I start getting very little. Having worked anti-social hours for years, I've been used to snatching the odd hour or two of sleep here and there - and your body is almost trained to do it over time. To me, that seems a more sensible approach, as I'm sure the extra hours I'm getting now don't store up in my body for future use.

So now we're just waiting.