PREGNANCY - MONTH EIGHT (WEEK 35)

I don't know how I ever managed to fit work in - managing to fill my days quite happily! What with still sorting the flat out, washing (and buying more) bits of baby clothing, daytime TV, reading lots and generally relaxing and enjoying myself - quite enjoying being a lady of leisure... while it lasts.

Had one day when I felt completely wiped out, and ended up having a good sleep in the middle of the day - which I know is my body telling me to slow down (and my DP also telling me). Still managed to get everything done that I was planning to do that day, but I must learn not to feel guilty for doing next to nothing some days.

Last weekend we managed to get loads of baby stuff done, without especially planning to. I did my Birth Plan, packed most of my hospital bag (hard to know what to pack for 'going home' clothes as I'm still wearing anything I might pack), and we took another trip to Mothercare and Boots for bath stuff and plenty more odds and sods.

Also had a lovely lunch this week with my friend whose twins will be arriving sometime in the next 3 weeks. She's due the same week as me, but her hospital won't let her go beyond 38 weeks. It was a good chance to natter all things baby, labour and birth - which, apart from with our respective other halves - we don't do very much with other people.

DP and I did a 2-night First Aid course especially for babies and children this week, through the Red Cross. It was well worth doing - if only for gaining a bit of confidence if ever we find ourselves in an emergency situation. It wasn't just the thought of being prepared for our own Little Monkey, but we'll find ourselves surrounded by far more babies and toddlers as a result, and it's good to know we've got that little bit of knowledge on all sorts of medical emergencies if the worst ever (hopefully never) happens.

PREGNANCY - MONTH EIGHT (WEEK 33)

I have finished work. A very odd feeling, especially as my last day was the Royal Wedding, and as a journalist it was one of the busiest days EVER. And most of my colleagues were out of the office reporting from location, so when I finally left there wasn't really anyone to say goodbye to (other than the two people I'm very good friends with at work, and I was seeing the following day anyway!).

 

My actual maternity leave doesn't start until May16th - the first two weeks are annual leave -  so perhaps that's why it doesn't really feel like I've left. I thought I'd feel a bit more emotional after 10 years at the same place, and not having a clue when I'll be going back, but it really doesn't feel like anything at all. I have wondered whether I've taken time off too early, but with the long, anti-social hours that I work, I decided I could just do without the stress and enjoy as much relaxation time as possible.

All my friends with kids say that's definitely the right thing to do. One of them has even sent me some books that I was planning to buy - and told me put my feet up and relax as much as possible. It really blew me away that she was so thoughtful - and I intend to do lots of reading and DVD watching in the 6-weeks or so until the Little Monkey puts in their appearance.

There is a sign that I am ready to finish work - a few pregnancy niggles are starting to creep in. Had quite painful and irritating piles in the last week (nice - but had them years ago quite severely so doesn't concern me too much). And more frequent disturbed nights sleeps from not being able to get comfortable, or the Little  Monkey giving me a right hammering as he/she decides to do an Irish jig in the middle of the night. But seeing as I'm so near the end I'm not surprised, and I'm also very grateful the little niggles have taken this long to appear. I know how lucky I am that they're so minor and not been throughout my pregnancy.

We've ordered and paid for the pram (Bugaboo Bee) finally. And we're still buying odds and sods - bottle stuff (although planning to exclusively breastfeed at the start), a few sleepsuits and baby-gros. Also picked up the car seat and base that we're borrowing from my best friend - so the car is now baby-ready! That also meant another brief visit to my parents - and they'd had another mooch around  Mothercare, and bought some hooded baby towels and bath stuff... stuff that I really wanted to buy myself, but of course I was grateful to them. Mum's done a great job of knitting a couple of cardigans too - a particularly lovely arun one (shame it will be the height of summer).

PREGNANCY - MONTH SEVEN (WEEKS 30 & 31)

I've had a couple of really quiet days movement-wise which has really freaked me out. Got quite wound up yesterday, but as soon as I got home to DP (who'd been abroad for a few days with work), the Little Monster seemed to spring into action. Perhaps he/she was just missing Daddy's voice! Anyway - today's been a bit more active, and I have read that as there's less room in there I'm likely to feel fewer kicks. I just find it so un-nerving.

I've read articles, blogs and forums on a number of different websites, but I've found the Pampers one especially good for what to expect week to week, tips etc. A lot of the 'chat' on the likes of Mumsnet and iVillage can make me paranoid and worry about things for no reason. As every pregnancy and baby is totally different, it's not healthy to read so many scary stories, so I'm trying not to do it so much. Although it is nice to read the heart-warming stories of which there are lots, and find people with the same concerns/experiences as you.

Before the last few days we'd had a couple of really productive weeks. My 30 week ante-natal check-up and first Anti-D injection went really well. Had the best experience we've had so far at the hospital - no lengthy waiting time, really friendly and helpful midwife (third different one, mind), and everything seems well on track. The sun was shining, and I even got a rare parking space right outside work - it was a good day!!

The next day was my 34th birthday - and as a present I got a 'nipple-ectomy'! I may have mentioned before about a skin flap on my left nipple that has grown since my breasts have got bigger during my pregnancy. I was already concerned how that would affect my attempt at breastfeeding, but in the couple of days before my appointment at the breast clinic it started bleeding and looking a bit grim. Anyway - after a thorough examination of both breasts, the doctor simply sliced it off there and then, which is exactly what I was hoping for. Two days later when the dressing came off, I couldn't even see where it had once been - incredible!

One of my best presents - from DP - was a picture we'd seen in a little cafe when we were on our holiday in Scotland back in February. We both thought it would be perfect for the nursery,  though at the time we weren't really planning on a 'proper' nursery, and we were still holding back on buying stuff for the Little Monkey. But several weeks on I had thought it would have been really nice - a momento of a special holiday and unique original piece of art for the nursery. So he'd rung up and bought 'Fergus McTed and wee Scotty' from the cafe:

Had a lovely birthday weekend - a good Friday night out with friends, and then on the Saturday the grandparents-to-be (my parents) came up. As if their very generous birthday presents weren't enough - we then blitzed Mothercare. Although DP and me already knew precisely what we wanted - having made several fact-finding and window shopping expeditions - it still felt rather stressful. At one point, we had two shop assistants 'suggesting' what was best, but frankly confusing me even further, and I just had to walk away. Even had a few hormonal tears.

But once we put our collective foot down as to what we wanted, and just dealt with one sales manager, we managed to make quite a lot of headway. We've stuck all the big stuff (nursery furniture, travel system, car seat and base) on their BabyPlan - most of which has very kindly been paid for by both sets of GPs-to-be. We may be borrowing a car seat from my best friend, so that might come off the order. The furniture and pram aren't being delivered until the middle of May, but we did take a moses basket, rocking MB stand and stacks of bedding home with us.

 

So bit by bit we're starting to get there with the nursery and essentials. Still lots of odds and sods (bottles and steriliser, clothes, muslins, bath etc) to get - but I'll need to do some shopping on my maternity leave!

My Mum and Dad were very helpful and generous - and still really, really excited - but I still sometimes feel that over-excitement a bit overwhelming and have to step back from it for a bit. I guess there's a little part of me still worried things can go wrong, and I could end up disappointing a lot of people. I know that's not the most rational of thoughts, and I am excited - but just more privately, inside myself and find it difficult to share fully with anyone other than DP.

PREGNANCY - MONTH SEVEN (WEEK 27)

I've been trying to put into words to DP exactly what the movements of our Little Monkey feel like. It's all very well occasionally feeling the odd kick from outside - but I'd love for him to have more of an idea of the all sorts of different sensations going on inside my body. One woman on another forum described some of the movements as being like holding a moving frog in your hands - and that's a really good description.
The thing is, there are so many different types of movement that I'm feeling. Sometimes it's an obvious fullblown kick, but not very often. More commonly I guess I'd describe it as 'squirming'. And then there's like different sized bubbles  popping, varying degrees of pressure against my insides, flickers up inside my ribs, tightening, rumbling, etc. I also can't quite differentiate between all the different movements - what's a kick, punch, hiccup, turning over, stretch...? The main thing is that, at the moment, no more than a few hours go past without feeling something - which I'm very thankful for. 

At this stage (and friends keep telling me this will change in the next month or so) I still really enjoy and look forward to feeling the little monkey - even when I'm trying to drop off to sleep. It reassures me that he/she's OK in there  and hopefully happy. He/she's never really woken me in the night with his/her movements - I'm woken more frequently when I try to turn over which takes more and more effort. Although last night, for the first time in a long time, I slept right through (albeit only 5 hours as I work crazy shifts). I'm sure it was no coincidence that I put a pillow under my ever expanding bump for the first time, so maybe that made me more comfortable and stopped the need to roll over.

We went on another fact-finding/shopping expedition last weekend - and it was far more successful than previously. While we didn't actually buy anything, we've got a far better idea of what we will be buying - by way of furniture, Moses basket , bath stuff etc.  And I think we've decided on our pram/transport system.... the Bugaboo Bee. We've looked at and researched loads - until our heads have been ready to explode - and typically this was the first one we ever really looked at! It is expensive, but living in a pokey flat in the city - on and off public transport and in and out of the car - it just ticks so many of our boxes, being small and light.

I thought I really wanted a carry cot with our transport system, but given the limited space in our flat - a cot, moses basket and car seat (which I think we're inheriting from my best friend, a  Maxi-Cosi CabrioFix) will be more than enough - and when we visit grandparents they'll have sorted their own sleeping arrangements for the Little Monkey.

Visiting DP's family this weekend, who we haven't seen since Christmas. Actually really looking forward to it - and I think they'll notice a BIG change in the size of my bump, which was virtually non-existent three months ago. I think I'll revel in being pampered for change, instead of offering to help out...

PREGNANCY - MONTH SIX (WEEK 26)

BOOBS.... mine have not stopped growing throughout my pregnancy so far. And they weren't exactly small to start with. I've gone from a 30H to currently a 34J. It's costing me a fortune everytime I have to buy another 2 or 3 bras at around £25 a time. Dread to think what size nursing bras I'm going to have to buy.. and not quite sure when to get them, especially if my breasts expand even more at the last minute once they're full of milk. And they're so big, I can't really see my bump properly when I look down. It's quite a surprise when I very occasionally catch sight of it in a full-length mirror!

My ample chest has always been the bane of my life, so I'm hoping they put themselves to good use and I'm able to breastfeed simply enough. I guess the one saving grace is that because they've always been big, my body's been used to carrying the weight - and so far the extra weight hasn't given me any backache. We'll just have to see how they manage over the next three months...

This weekend I was back down at my parents' house. It was much better than last week - I don't know if that's because DP was with me to deflect some of the attention, or if we exhausted a lot of the talking last week. Having said that - Mum gave me some knitted shawls that I had when I was a baby, and we went back to the same baby shop for more brain strain over which pram/transport system is best for us. But I didn't feel any of the pressure of last week. Starting to feel like we really ought to get a bit of a move in actually buying a few bits, and properly sorting out what will be the little monkey's room soon though.

Also caught up with loads of my old friends from home - they were all very excited to talk about our impending arrival. But there were two things I was a little surprised at. Firstly - pretty much EVERYONE wanted to touch the bump. A couple of people asked first (one bloke touched it and then asked if I minded) - and to be honest I wasn't all that comfortable with it. Most of the girls that were there and touched it know me really, really well - and I would have thought they'd known that I wouldn't really like it, yet they couldn't help themselves.

The other thing was the doom-merchants - and it was all the Dads! Few of them had much positive to say. One told me I'll spend the next years of my life lamenting the loss of any lie-ins EVER AGAIN. Another told me I'll never want to leave my child for a night with its grandparents; I'll never want to be parted from him/her. How on earth do they know how I'll feel? I don't know how I'm going feel - but I'm pretty sure I've got a little more of an idea of my own instincts than they have.

Even a male colleague - with two teenage daughters - can't stop himself from keep saying stuff like "your life is going change beyond your wildest imgaination" and "it's going to be the toughest change ever to your life". Well, Yes - that's kind of part of the reason for taking the plunge and starting a family. All these negative comments - from people who obviously found it so bad and hard the first time round, they went on and had another! I think it a little sad they couldn't think of anything more positive to say.

Anyway, talking about more positive things - good check-up at my doctor's on Friday. She just did all the regular checks. First time my bump had been measured and she said it certainly wasn't small - if anything, it's on the big side... 28cm at 25 weeks. If big equals healthy, than that's good.

The little monkey's had a couple of very active days indeed. I have a friend who's a couple of months further along than me and is really fed up with the kicks in the ribs. I really like it at the moment - definitely find it reassuring and makes me smile. But maybe ask me again in another two months when they're bigger and stronger....

PREGNANCY - MONTH SIX (WEEK 25)

Spent the weekend at my parents' - and it's frankly left me feeling quite odd... pressured, not excited enough and all "baby-ed out".
I haven't seen my Dad since we told them the good news, so he's had two months of excitement and talking about all aspects of pregnancy and babies stored up and ready to chat to me about. He's more than excited and enthusiastic (it's their first grandchild) - which is lovely, but a bit overwhelming, especially when he referred to my baby as 'his baby' a couple of times. I know he and Mum mean well - being very generous with what they're offering to buy etc - but I feel their excitement is almost zapping my own.

I did say to them "Look - I'd like to buy my baby some of its stuff too, you know", and Mum just said "Oh, there'll be plenty left for you to buy", which I'm sure there will, but I'm just finding it hard to involve everyone in this pregnancy. I guess I'm getting a bit insular about it all  - a big part of me just wants to hide away with DP and deal with everything ourselves at our pace.

I was even uncomfortable chatting to the shop assistant in the baby shop we popped into - of course she's going to ask me things like when I'm due... it's her job! And at work - I like that it's my sanctuary away from baby talk, but even that's slipping away as there's something of a baby boom in our office at the moment with pregnancies and new Dads talking babies a lot of the time.

I know all the above is unrealistic, unfair and irrational - so I'm just going to blame it on hormones for now. I know my Mum and Dad - and DP's Mum - have only our best interests at heart and want to help us as much as they can for all the right reasons, and we will need their help - but in my head it's putting expectations and unwanted pressure on me.

I guess I just have to strike the right balance of involving them and embracing their excitement - while keeping some for just DP and myself. When it's just the two (and a half) of us, then I am excited and positive and happy to talk baby stuff - just not so comfortable sharing it all with everyone else.

We're back down at my parents this weekend - but this time with DP in tow - so I'm going to try and be a lot more positive, engaged and excited WITH them all about their first grandchild, and not save it all for my treasured private time with DP.I'malso not quite ready to start buying stuff yet - although we've spent much of this week trying to sort out the flata bit to make more room - and we've had a bit of a play and been researching prams and car seats. There'sstill that nagging doubt in the back of mind that when we start forking out on the big items something can stillgo wrong - at any stage.

The Little Monkey's movements have continued more and more regularly over the past couple of weeks though, which is really encouraging. I'm very much hoping the suggestion that the baby's sleep/wake patterns in the womb often mirror what happens once it's born is true - because, so far, the LIttle Monkey appears to only be awake when I am and sleeps when I sleep! It's especially active after food, and as soon as I've woken up, and just resting before bed. And he/she's definitely discovered his/her arms - definitely getting punches (although I guess they might be kicks) in my right-hand ribs! Love it.

Oh, and my pregnancy rhinitis continues. I think it's improving a very tiny bit each day - but that could just me getting used to it. I fully expect to have the excessive mucus for the rest of my pregnancy - the joys...! 

PREGNANCY - MONTH FIVE (WEEKS 17-22)

Oh my word - so much mucus! Since the start of January I've had a chesty, phlegm cough. Went to the doctor, but - despite being prescribed a course of antibiotics - it's not a chest infection. A couple of weeks later the nose started - both blocked and streaming with snot! Pleasant... and shows no sign of abating.It got me down last week, but now just resigning myself to having to put up with it for possibly the next four months. After having a relatively easy ride with morning sickness and aches and pains (so far), I guess I should just keep my fingers crossed that this is as bad as it gets. As for all my colleagues who are fed up with my constant coughing and blowing my nose - they should try being me!

20 week scan went fine - the little monster (note: when he/she is being good they're a monkey, but on bad days they're a monster!) was in the wrong position to see everything the sonographer needed at first. So a cup of tea, a bit of jigging around and some pelvic floor exercises later - he/she was moving around almost TOO much! 

Sonographer was pleased enough with all the measurements, organs etc - which was reassuring enough for us. She has asked us to come back at week 32 just to double check my placenta - which is a little low-lying at the moment so far as she could tell.

With that in mind, we also asked her about flying to America - as we're planning a pre-baby, 10 year anniversary break. She said it was best to be on the safe side, and would avoid long-haul flights. So we're off to Aberdeenshire next week instead! Still hugely looking forward to it though.

After researching a bit more into what it means to have a low-lying placenta (which still has plenty of time to move) - it's put my mind at ease a bit on the days I don't feel the little monster move. Last week I went four days without feeling anything, and got really worked up. But he/she's probably just in a position where he/she's kicking into the placenta and softening the sensations.

The little monster can't win though - yesterday I started getting concerned about quite HOW MUCH I was feeling him/her. Worrying he/she hadn't slept at all all day. Back to more 'normal' feeling today though. I've felt him/her a few times - enough to put my mind at rest.

The only other thing that's been bothering me this week is the grandparents. Both sets are sooo over-excited as it's the first for both of them. But, as generous and lovely the constant calls about buying stuff for the baby are ("which pram do we want", "what can we buy" etc) - it's all a bit over-whelming, at a stage when DP and myself aren't yet ready to start buying too much. I'm anxious neither side get too over-bearing, but it's hard to strike that balance between being grateful for their generosity, interest and support - and letting us get on and do things our way.

That said, my Mum took me maternity clothes shopping last weekend - and it was a pretty successful trip. I hate clothes shopping at the best of times, but managed to come away with a few really nice tops, one pair of (too big) jeans, trousers and BIG PANTS! Oh, and jumpers for our trip to Scotland!