This was originally the blog of a first-time Mum to remember the ups and downs of my pregnancy - and chart the first year of my daughter's life. But I've kept it going, and am now a mother of two! More than anything, it helps me to get to sleep once I've emptied my brain of issues and concerns and emotions onto the laptop.
If you're reading this and also a mum- or dad-to-be, first time parent, or just someone who's thinking about it - I hope it gives a little insight into one person's experiences - good and bad....

Saturday, 14 May 2011

PREGNANCY - MONTH EIGHT (WEEK 35)

I don't know how I ever managed to fit work in - managing to fill my days quite happily! What with still sorting the flat out, washing (and buying more) bits of baby clothing, daytime TV, reading lots and generally relaxing and enjoying myself - quite enjoying being a lady of leisure... while it lasts.

Had one day when I felt completely wiped out, and ended up having a good sleep in the middle of the day - which I know is my body telling me to slow down (and my DP also telling me). Still managed to get everything done that I was planning to do that day, but I must learn not to feel guilty for doing next to nothing some days.

Last weekend we managed to get loads of baby stuff done, without especially planning to. I did my Birth Plan, packed most of my hospital bag (hard to know what to pack for 'going home' clothes as I'm still wearing anything I might pack), and we took another trip to Mothercare and Boots for bath stuff and plenty more odds and sods.

Also had a lovely lunch this week with my friend whose twins will be arriving sometime in the next 3 weeks. She's due the same week as me, but her hospital won't let her go beyond 38 weeks. It was a good chance to natter all things baby, labour and birth - which, apart from with our respective other halves - we don't do very much with other people.

DP and I did a 2-night First Aid course especially for babies and children this week, through the Red Cross. It was well worth doing - if only for gaining a bit of confidence if ever we find ourselves in an emergency situation. It wasn't just the thought of being prepared for our own Little Monkey, but we'll find ourselves surrounded by far more babies and toddlers as a result, and it's good to know we've got that little bit of knowledge on all sorts of medical emergencies if the worst ever (hopefully never) happens.

Saturday, 7 May 2011

PREGNANCY - MONTH EIGHT (WEEK 34)

Aren't people nice? Took my car in for its MOT and service this week - and the lovely lady at Volkswagen had obviously clocked my bump, and when I went to pick my car up - she handed over a bottle of (not cheap) champagne to wish me luck! How lovely - was really surprised. NB - car is now also fully equipped with car seat and base, generously donated by my best friend. Baby stuff gradually infiltrating all our space!

Had to pop back into work too, to tie up a few loose ends and have an appraisal. After the unusual circumstances of leaving after a mammoth shift on Royal Wedding day last week, I was given a Good Luck card and gift voucher from everyone, which was also lovely. Didn't feel remotely strange to walking out of the building for who knows how long - I think I'm definitely ready to put my feet up for a few weeks now.

Been busy though - done all sorts of bits and bobs like sorting my car, eye test, ante-natal checkups (all good), last ante-natal class, breastfeeding class etc,  so it's not exactly felt like a week off. 

DP and I also did a tour of the Birth Centre and Labour ward at the hospital where we'll be having the Little Monkey. I thought I'd pretty much made up my mind about all that - I thought  I was all set for the Birth Centre. But when it came to it, I felt much more comfortable in the Labour ward. The rooms reminded me of a Travelodge - albeit with plenty of amenities and all the pain relief/operating theatre closer to hand. The Labour ward has one birthing pool available (so long as there are enough midwives to monitor it), so I could hopefully still use that. The Birth Centre just seemed a bit older, more 'hippy', and nothing like a 'home from home' they bill it as. So I think for the first one, I'll be much happier in more of a hospital environment - not that it felt too 'hospitally'.

Annoyingly, the  midwife showing us round was giving us conflicting information to things we'd been told by the midwife at our ante-natal classes (all from the same hospital) - about things like which ward I'd be on after the birth. I got quite frustrated and angry at what seems to be emerging as a pattern of no one really knowing what's going on, and constant conflicting information from within the same NHS trust.

I'm also getting a bit wound up by the constant negative messages from people like my GP. Things like "oh, you'll feel like a whale soon" and "no one's birth ever goes to plan". Not true. I've had plenty of friends whose births have - and, while it may change in my last month, I'm constantly surprised by how NOT big I feel at the moment. I know I have to keep realistic about everything that might or might not happen at the end of my pregnancy and during labour/birth - and I am - but a few positive messages wouldn't go amiss...

Monday, 2 May 2011

PREGNANCY - MONTH EIGHT (WEEK 33)

I have finished work. A very odd feeling, especially as my last day was the Royal Wedding, and as a journalist it was one of the busiest days EVER. And most of my colleagues were out of the office reporting from location, so when I finally left there wasn't really anyone to say goodbye to (other than the two people I'm very good friends with at work, and I was seeing the following day anyway!).
 
My actual maternity leave doesn't start until May16th - the first two weeks are annual leave -  so perhaps that's why it doesn't really feel like I've left. I thought I'd feel a bit more emotional after 10 years at the same place, and not having a clue when I'll be going back, but it really doesn't feel like anything at all. I have wondered whether I've taken time off too early, but with the long, anti-social hours that I work, I decided I could just do without the stress and enjoy as much relaxation time as possible.

All my friends with kids say that's definitely the right thing to do. One of them has even sent me some books that I was planning to buy - and told me put my feet up and relax as much as possible. It really blew me away that she was so thoughtful - and I intend to do lots of reading and DVD watching in the 6-weeks or so until the Little Monkey puts in their appearance.

There is a sign that I am ready to finish work - a few pregnancy niggles are starting to creep in. Had quite painful and irritating piles in the last week (nice - but had them years ago quite severely so doesn't concern me too much). And more frequent disturbed nights sleeps from not being able to get comfortable, or the Little  Monkey giving me a right hammering as he/she decides to do an Irish jig in the middle of the night. But seeing as I'm so near the end I'm not surprised, and I'm also very grateful the little niggles have taken this long to appear. I know how lucky I am that they're so minor and not been throughout my pregnancy.

We've ordered and paid for the pram (Bugaboo Bee) finally. And we're still buying odds and sods - bottle stuff (although planning to exclusively breastfeed at the start), a few sleepsuits and baby-gros. Also picked up the car seat and base that we're borrowing from my best friend - so the car is now baby-ready! That also meant another brief visit to my parents - and they'd had another mooch around  Mothercare, and bought some hooded baby towels and bath stuff... stuff that I really wanted to buy myself, but of course I was grateful to them. Mum's done a great job of knitting a couple of cardigans too - a particularly lovely arun one (shame it will be the height of summer).

Friday, 22 April 2011

Mum of a Monkey: PREGNANCY - MONTH 8 (WEEK 32)

Mum of a Monkey: PREGNANCY - MONTH 8 (WEEK 32): "The Little Monkey is perfectly average. In a good way. I don't think there's any danger of any child of ours being 'average' once they're ou..."

PREGNANCY - MONTH 8 (WEEK 32)

The Little Monkey is perfectly average. In a good way. I don't think there's any danger of any child of ours being 'average' once they're out - but for now, I'm happy if all the measurements, positions etc are as average and 'normal' as can be.

Had a precautionary 32 weeks scan to check the position of the placenta, which has moved up so that's good. And the sonographer told us the Little Monkey is - going by the measurements - weighing around 4lb. Given that there are still eight weeks to go, and from now  on it may well put on half a pound a week, it could be a biggun'. Given The Little Monkey's Dad though, that's no great surprise! No picture this time - too big and not in the right position to be especially photogenic.

32 week ante-natal check up at my doctors (with a locum) also went fine. No concerns. So all looking good. And we went to our first ante-natal class together this week. I would say it was definitely useful to be able to ask seemingly 'stupid' questions, and learn a bit more about the actual biology of what will happen through labour and birth. I felt a bit uncomfortable though - everyone was a bit quiet and nervy. There were only four couples there, and I can't really see me making any new Yummy Mummy friends from them. But DP tells me it was "fascinating" and really helpful and useful for him, which makes it really worthwhile for both of us.

Can't believe I only have one week left at work (and a full week at that - no Bank Holidays off for me). One of the things I think I'll miss is the office being a bit of a sanctuary away from constant 'baby stuff'. My pregnancy isn't discussed all that much at work - which is fine by me. Sometimes a bit odd when people are discussing my colleague's impending arrival of twins, and I'm not brought into the conversation, but I get all the attention I need from DP and family - so it doesn't really bother me. And I can quite understand how TWO babies in one go is far more fascinating than a "run-of-the-mill" (to them, certainly not to me) pregnancy.

Still reflecting on how it's all gone so far. Aside from the anxiety and rhinitis that I mentioned last week, the other things that have not really impressed me is my HORRIBLE outie tummy button, and very dark, hairy belly. Hopefully they will both disappear not long after I've had the Little Monkey. 

And if there's one thing I regret, it's that I've not been able to relax and enjoy my pregnancy as much as I'd like. Now that I'm on the home straight, I'm going to really try to enjoy these final weeks - especially once I'm on maternity leave. I'm going to try and see it as a bit of a holiday - before all the hard work really starts...


Friday, 15 April 2011

PREGNANCY - MONTH SEVEN (week 31 part 2)

With the weeks left to go until my due date now down to single figures, I've found myself reflecting on the last seven months of my pregnancy.

I think it can be mostly summed up in three words: anxiety, rhinitis and natural.

I have no idea whether I would still have been this anxious had I not had the two miscarriages last year - but I'm sure they're at the root of it. I only seem to go a few days feeling 100% relaxed and positive about everything. Often there's still a nagging worry in the back of my mind that things can still go wrong at any time. It's obviously worse on days like the last few when the Little Monkey is very inactive. Nothing beats the reassurance of contant kicks, squirms and hiccups. I have never complained on the rare nights that he/she has kept me awake or woken me up - to me it's the best feeling knowing he/she's merrily playing away in there...

I've now had the pregnancy rhinitis for four months - but it's much, much milder than at the beginning. I still have a phlegmy cough most mornings, but not blowing my nose nearly so much or nearly so congested. If this is the worst side-effect that I end up with then I count myself very, very lucky.

Which brings me on to how natural the whole pregnancy to date has felt. I know I still have two months to go, so I'm at risk of tempting fate, but the biggest surprise to me has been how it's been almost exactly how I imagined it to be - certainly in terms of how my ever expanding bump feels as part of my body. If I'm completely honest (and again, may be tempting fate) I expected to be a lot more achey and tired at this stage - I'm really surprised at how - so far - I've managed to avoid hardly any backache. I feel really well, still got energy, don't feel too huge at all, and know I'm lucky to be having it so 'easy'.

I'll read that last paragraph back in another few weeks and curse myself for writing it I'm sure - but by then I'll be off work, so that will be one less thing to worry about.

PREGNANCY - MONTH SEVEN (WEEKS 30 & 31)

I've had a couple of really quiet days movement-wise which has really freaked me out. Got quite wound up yesterday, but as soon as I got home to DP (who'd been abroad for a few days with work), the Little Monster seemed to spring into action. Perhaps he/she was just missing Daddy's voice! Anyway - today's been a bit more active, and I have read that as there's less room in there I'm likely to feel fewer kicks. I just find it so un-nerving.

I've read articles, blogs and forums on a number of different websites, but I've found the Pampers one especially good for what to expect week to week, tips etc. A lot of the 'chat' on the likes of Mumsnet and iVillage can make me paranoid and worry about things for no reason. As every pregnancy and baby is totally different, it's not healthy to read so many scary stories, so I'm trying not to do it so much. Although it is nice to read the heart-warming stories of which there are lots, and find people with the same concerns/experiences as you.

Before the last few days we'd had a couple of really productive weeks. My 30 week ante-natal check-up and first Anti-D injection went really well. Had the best experience we've had so far at the hospital - no lengthy waiting time, really friendly and helpful midwife (third different one, mind), and everything seems well on track. The sun was shining, and I even got a rare parking space right outside work - it was a good day!!

The next day was my 34th birthday - and as a present I got a 'nipple-ectomy'! I may have mentioned before about a skin flap on my left nipple that has grown since my breasts have got bigger during my pregnancy. I was already concerned how that would affect my attempt at breastfeeding, but in the couple of days before my appointment at the breast clinic it started bleeding and looking a bit grim. Anyway - after a thorough examination of both breasts, the doctor simply sliced it off there and then, which is exactly what I was hoping for. Two days later when the dressing came off, I couldn't even see where it had once been - incredible!

One of my best presents - from DP - was a picture we'd seen in a little cafe when we were on our holiday in Scotland back in February. We both thought it would be perfect for the nursery,  though at the time we weren't really planning on a 'proper' nursery, and we were still holding back on buying stuff for the Little Monkey. But several weeks on I had thought it would have been really nice - a momento of a special holiday and unique original piece of art for the nursery. So he'd rung up and bought 'Fergus McTed and wee Scotty' from the cafe:



Had a lovely birthday weekend - a good Friday night out with friends, and then on the Saturday the grandparents-to-be (my parents) came up. As if their very generous birthday presents weren't enough - we then blitzed Mothercare. Although DP and me already knew precisely what we wanted - having made several fact-finding and window shopping expeditions - it still felt rather stressful. At one point, we had two shop assistants 'suggesting' what was best, but frankly confusing me even further, and I just had to walk away. Even had a few hormonal tears.

But once we put our collective foot down as to what we wanted, and just dealt with one sales manager, we managed to make quite a lot of headway. We've stuck all the big stuff (nursery furniture, travel system, car seat and base) on their BabyPlan - most of which has very kindly been paid for by both sets of GPs-to-be. We may be borrowing a car seat from my best friend, so that might come off the order. The furniture and pram aren't being delivered until the middle of May, but we did take a moses basket, rocking MB stand and stacks of bedding home with us.
 
So bit by bit we're starting to get there with the nursery and essentials. Still lots of odds and sods (bottles and steriliser, clothes, muslins, bath etc) to get - but I'll need to do some shopping on my maternity leave!

My Mum and Dad were very helpful and generous - and still really, really excited - but I still sometimes feel that over-excitement a bit overwhelming and have to step back from it for a bit. I guess there's a little part of me still worried things can go wrong, and I could end up disappointing a lot of people. I know that's not the most rational of thoughts, and I am excited - but just more privately, inside myself and find it difficult to share fully with anyone other than DP.