This was originally the blog of a first-time Mum to remember the ups and downs of my pregnancy - and chart the first year of my daughter's life. But I've kept it going, and am now a mother of two! More than anything, it helps me to get to sleep once I've emptied my brain of issues and concerns and emotions onto the laptop.
If you're reading this and also a mum- or dad-to-be, first time parent, or just someone who's thinking about it - I hope it gives a little insight into one person's experiences - good and bad....

Wednesday, 21 September 2011


My respect for single parents and families where one parent is often away has increased massively in the past couple of days. My OH is away for a few nights, leaving me with Charlotte on my own for the first time. It's not the hard work that's an issue - I'm only doing what I do most days - it's the loneliness. There's an oddly intense loneliness that comes with being alone with a baby that's 100% your responsibility.

I guess I feel it a bit more as my OH works from home, so he's always around to bounce off when I have any problems or concerns.

But so far, so good. She even had her second set of jabs today - and despite letting out the biggest, blood-curdling screams I've ever heard for a good 10 minutes, she seems OK and happy now (actually she's asleep now, which is even better!). She's also put on enough weight to stay on the same percentile, which the Health Visitor (and I) was pleased with.

Charlotte's had a couple of odd nights where she's clearly woken up, but not seemingly for a feed. A couple of times I've popped her dummy back in and she's slept for another couple of hours before needing to be fed. The other night she was wide, wide awake at 0140 - so I just popped to the loo before going back to feed her. When I returned she was fast asleep again!

She's also lying in her Moses basket quietly 'muttering' to herself, or just staring into space, more - very quietly. So it makes me wonder how often she's actually wide awake, when we assume she's asleep in her room, but just silent - especially during her daytime naps (still only managing 25-45 minutes each time, but better than nothing).

And here's my cute picture of the week, for purely indulgent purposes!

On our way to the doctors in her harness for her jabs - her smiles were short lived :(


edit: Charlotte slept for ages last night after her jabs (and no Calpol) - heard the odd cough and murmur, but she seemed to sleep from 1915 until 0455, then back to sleep until 0730 after a feed. I say seemed - she's just done what I mentioned earlier - popped in check on her 35 mins into her morning nap, and she was lying there with her eyes wide open, totally silent. So all the time I assume she's sleeping and would just leave her to it until I hear her crying, she might not be asleep - so now I have no clue as to how much sleep she's getting...

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