POORLY MUNCHKIN

This is my little girl who NEVER just chills out on the sofa - let alone fall asleep there for several naps in one day.

We have a very poorly little girl this Easter. Since Thursday she's not been able to keep anything down - not even the usually fail safe Dioralyte. The doctor, in a phone consultation, says the virus may last 3 or 4 days. We're currently on day three. And it's heartbreaking.

It's so quiet in the house without Charlotte's constant chatting and singing. She doesn't want to play with any of her toys. It's just Peppa Pig or Raa Raa on the TV, dozing on the sofa and cuddles with Mummy and Daddy in between throwing up.

So far, the virus seems to have avoided James, which is good news. I'm told the antibodies in my breast milk should stave it off. So thank goodness I've kept at it.

One thing Charlotte did yesterday had me in tears. While her speech is excellent for a 21 month old, there's plenty that she still gets endearingly wrong. The other day while playing with James on his playmat a bit of milk came out of his mouth, and Charlotte said: "James' milk fell over"! Well, yesterday when she was being sick into a bowl, she - very wearily - said: "my milk fell over". Bless her heart...

REST IS BEST

We've been really struggling with breastfeeding this week. It had all been going so well for the first couple of weeks with James putting on weight and having plenty of dirty nappies. But since the weekend he's really struggled to feed properly which in turn is affecting my milk supply. And he's dipped below his birth weight - which is heartbreaking and totally demoralising.

I had a lactation consultant come round today and she says James has tongue tie which is affecting his latch. Although I don't know why that wasn't an issue in the first two weeks. On top of the feeding problems Charlotte and my OH have been suffering with a vomiting and diarrhoea bug since Saturday. All adding to the stress, lack of sleep and me probably not eating enough either.

Even when he seems to have had a decent feed from me, James just doesn't seem content and settled. And those decent feeds are becoming few and far between. I think it's a vicious circle of poor latch, not stimulating milk supply, making me worried, also affecting milk supply, and if he can't get what milk there is there from his latch then it all affects each other in turn.

For the past couple of days I have been expressing after every feed and giving James a top up of that or formula when I really don't think he'll take anymore from me. But that  means a continual cycle of trying to feed, offer a bottle, express - all while trying to occupy and look after a 20-month old. No wonder I'm tired and anxious. And it's stirred up all those conflicting feelings about giving him formula/bottles. 

On that issue, this article and this one make interesting reading.

So the answer for me at the moment is: offer James the breast and really try to get that latch right; once I think he's either satisfied or really not getting anything, offer him a top up of expressed milk if I have it or formula if I haven't, until he's full. And hope the (what feels like constant) expressing and fenugreek supplements will increase my supply. Oh, in between all that, try to eat more and sleep and look after Charlotte!

Thankfully I've had an awful lot of help from Grandparents this week, which has taken a tiny bit of the pressure off.

And when I really think he's not interested in food, but won't still won't settle, I have caved in and tried him with a dummy. Seemed to work for a short nap this afternoon, but until we get the feeding and latch back on track I am a bit loath to keep using it.

On a positive note, if I do need to get anyone else to feed him, James seems more than happy to feed from a bottle, and no apparent aversion to formula in an emergency - both potential pitfalls I know others have had a problem with when trying to offer an alternative to the breast.

And Charlotte's virus seems to have finally gone - she's getting her appetite back a bit, but that also means she's back fighting or completely refusing her naps once again.... just when (on the rare occasion James is also down) I need to be able to nap more than ever!

ONE YEAR OLD

My little girl is one.

And to everyone that's said to me "Gosh, hasn't that gone quickly?". No, not really! There are times when I do think some of the months have sped by, but on the whole it does feel like a full year... at least!

Unfortunately Charlotte was really poorly for her birthday. She was up all the night before, and on the actual day, when she wasn't crying with a raging temperature and clearly in pain, she was cuddled into one family member or another just wanting to sleep. It was frankly heartbreaking.

We had a big BBQ with both sets of family (even my brother who came over from Australia and met his niece for the first time) and friends, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. But I could only concentrate on Charlotte and making sure she was comfortable. Thankfully my parents are always the hosts-with-the-most and took over sorting the food and drinks.

Took Charlotte to the doctors and it seems she'd had a virus, and has a chest infection for which she has anti-biotics. She's sowly getting better, but has been up every night for at least an hour crying and crying until her next dose of Nurofen kicks in - or she's too tired to fight her sleep anymore.

Sadly, we didn't get any good pictures from her first birthday, but here are a couple form when she wasn't too poorly:

having just moved into a new house, I think we're going to have to move into an even bigger one to accommodate all Charlotte's birthday presents!