MY SECRET BLOG III

(originally written on 27/06/12)

Close family now know I'm pregnant. It would have been impossible to keep it a secret over the past week with my parents and brother coming to stay to celebrate Charlotte's first birthday - so we had to tell them and my OH's family.

They were all pretty surprised that we're having Number Two so soon, but also seemed pleased. To be honest it's been such a hectic week with Charlotte's birthday, having a house full of guests and Charlotte being really poorly I think most people actually forgot after the initial annoucnement!

Had our booking in appointment with the community midwife last week. She's lovely - and the system's all so different from when we were in London last time. Then it felt like we were on a conveyor belt - this time it feels more personal and a bit more relaxed. Many of our appointments (apart from things like scans and my anti-D injections) will be at the local health centre, which is great.

I was told I could have a reassurance scan if I really wanted one, given my past history of miscarriages. But I'm trying to stay really positive about this pregnancy and declined for the time being, unless I feel concerned at any time before our 13 week scan. 

Right now the 24th July, when the scan's booked for, seems a long, long time away. I've still got plenty of early pg symptoms - nausea at varying times of the day (not just evenings as it was last time), tender breasts today, and being wiped out with tiredness (though that could just as easily be from running around after a one year old!).

FIRST HOLIDAY, FIRST TANTRUMS

I can't believe I haven't blogged for almost a month - we've been really busy, and have just come back from Charlotte's first holiday.

We went to Cyprus so she could meet most of my side of the family. She was an angel for the flight there and back - only grizzling when she was ready for a nap. Thankfully, a four and half hour flight worked perfectly to feed her on take-off and landing. The flight home was full so there was very little room to rock her to sleep, but I managed.

She was of course on my lap for the flight, but tried out her own seat for size.

Over there she revelled in all the attention from the family. And most days I really felt like I was getting a proper break as we were staying with my parents who were always willing to help out.

It got rather trickier towards the end of the week though as Charlotte appears to be developing separation anxiety, and we had several massive screaming tantrums with full on tears - particularly at bedtime when she wouldn't let anyone but me feed her. She would almost immediately calm down if I held her, or even came close - much to the understandable upset at first of my OH. I think her Grandma was a bit put out too, as she's usually very good at calming down babies. Hoping this is just a short phase as it's already getting really rather wearing on me, and I find it very difficult to let her cry and cry.

We were also sleeping in the same room as her which meant we never got a decent night's sleep. On top of her usual noises, she was up twice each night and difficult to get back to sleep - possibly because she realised we were in the room with her. The four nights of her properly sleeping through last month seem an awful long time ago and must have been a blip!

However, on the plus side, the holiday also saw a number of big developments. Charlotte's definitely found her feet and can spend ages playing with them - even managing to get one in her mouth! She's sitting with the bare minimum of support, and most excitingly I guess, rolled from her back to her front (and back again), which she's managed a couple of times since we've been back too.

Having her first paddle in the Med

Another significant milestone is that I have finally given up breastfeeding entirely. I feel very sad and emotional about the decision, and there will be a separate blog on this to follow.

But on the whole the holiday was a success, and Charlotte certainly stole the hearts of all the family over there who can't wait to see her again.

MOTHER KNOWS BEST

I'm starting to understand the truth behind that phrase - Mother knows best. I really am starting to know a little more about what our little girl wants. Most of the time it's the sleep she still continues to fight in the day.

The trouble comes when other people - mostly grandparents and other family members, on both sides - make me question it all. When I can see she's on the cusp of needing sleep, they want to carry on playing, when I know she's grizzling because she's not had enough sleep they tell me she's hungry or - both grandmas favourite - it's her tummy/wind. And because they've all been there before I do listen to them.

But then I'm proved right when we get into the overtired vicious circle. Yet I'm still made to feel like I'm obsessing over her getting enough sleep. But it is really important.

On a brighter note - and an example of the effect a good sleep can have - Charlotte was an unbelievable angel at her second Welcome to the World BBQ. This time it was for her Northern family and friends. We'd made sure she had a good hour and a half's sleep at lunchtime. And for the rest of the afternoon we had smiles, happy noises, another kip, good feeds and not a whimper.

with Great-Grandma

Even her bath and pre-bed massage were perfect. As I'm writing this I have just put her down to sleep. Unfortunately the party is still very noisily going on, and Charlotte's wide awake, so we'll see how long it takes her to nod off...

edit: Ok, so she settled herself to sleep beautifully within 20 minutes, despite the cocophony of noise... and then slept for a personal best SEVEN hours before waking for a feed. I was obviously awake several times before that worrying why she hadn't woken as usual. Let's hope this isn't a one off, and she continues to be an angel child.

edit2: but then it took more than an hour to get her back to sleep:(